It’s just dawned on me that I have just missed an opportunity, the thoughts I recorded yesterday about me not going to Linda’s funeral is all about me being able to say No.
When Linda’s husband rang me last week with the sad news that she had passed over, I immediately told him I would be going to her funeral, that was my first thought and would he please ring me as soon as he knew the arrangements.
I never stopped to think. And....how many times do we all do that I wonder?
Unfourtunatly our son was unable to come so that left me on my own, and that’s when I realised I had made the wrong choice. Fortunately for me, I learnt along time ago that’s it’s alright to say no. I rang Linda’s husband,I apologised and told him why. Of course he understood.
Some of my patients over the years have found it very difficult to say no to so many things, especially to their children. You try and tell your teenage daughter that she can’t go to that party on Saturday night because you don’t know if she’ll be safe, with her telling you that Everyone else is going and your the bad mother.
I have a friend who wanted me to give a very good friend of hers a treatment on a day that I didn’t work. She was insisting that I saw her on that day. I kept saying no. She kept telling me that her friend was a very important person and that was the only day she could come to my home, so I would have to see her then. So I very calmly but firmly explained to her that like everyone else there are days when I work and there are days that I either rest, or I do all my other chores. And, as a wife mother and grandmother with a home and garden to look after, apart for the fact I have MS, I was not going to give in. I need my days off. She was not at all happy with me.
I have often said we all need to say no without feeling guilty, but we can say it gently.